Soulacoaster by R. Kelly

Author:R. Kelly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Hay House, Inc.
Published: 2012-07-24T16:00:00+00:00

THE DEPTHS OF MY STRUGGLES

DETERMINE THE HEIGHTS

OF MY SUCCESS

When my mother was still alive, I was a boy. After she died, I became a man. When my mother was still alive, my career was starting to build. After she died, my career blew up.

The most tragic event of my 26-year-old life—the death of my precious mother—coincided with the explosion of my music around the world.

Because she was gone, I was sadder than I’d ever been in my life. And not too long after my mother passed, my grandmother lost her battle with cancer and went to join her daughter, Joann. Because “Bump N’ Grind” became the longest-lasting R&B hit in the history of Billboard’s charts—not to mention a #1 pop hit as well—I was more successful than ever. Grief and joy had a hard time shaking hands. My mind was like a mixing board where the tracks—the up-tempo happy jams and the deep dark blues grooves—were leaking all over each other.

I’d reached my goal; I’d become a superstar. And while I could feel Mom’s spirit still feeding me love, it hurt my heart that my eyes couldn’t see her face. She was no longer there to give me a hug. And man, did I need a hug!

Looking back, I remember feeling that I couldn’t go on without my mother. And, if my career hadn’t taken the amazing turns that it did, maybe I would have broken down completely and spent the next year or two doing nothing but grieving. But music wouldn’t let me do that. My music took over and suddenly started sweeping the country. Suddenly I was famous. But fame almost overwhelmed me. It was like a hungry monster with an appetite that could never be satisfied. It wanted more, more, and then just when I thought it was satisfied, it asked for even more.

Things were happening so fast that I could hardly keep up with myself. These were good things—musical gifts—that were tremendous challenges and undeniable blessings. Take, for instance, the fine art of the remix.

Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s most hit records got a second life (and sometimes even a first life) by releasing a remixed version of the original. Usually remixes were done by hot engineers or producers to create new versions of a song, which was often for clubs. On the 12-Play album, I decided to do the remixes of my own records instead of having someone else do them.

Because of the advances in recording technology and my growing confidence and experience in the studio, I could see how to break down the different elements of the song and put them back together in a different configuration. I could modify the groove; strip down the vocal and add new elements; throw in new sounds and accents—in short, I could re-engineer the music in a way that gave it a whole new flavor. I did two remixes of “Bump N’ Grind”—the “Old School Mix” and the “How I Feel It Extended Mix,” which is the version of the song we shot the video to.

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